Expat Parenting Made Easy: 6 Must-Have Tools & Guides for the Adventure Ahead

The expatriation process is daunting on its own for first-timers. Adding children to the mix can make things all the more puzzling. But every puzzle has its pieces! Living abroad is an incredible opportunity that most people do not have the courage to dream about. Though it can be logistically and emotionally unsettling, it’s important to remain positive about the changes you’re experiencing as a family. Luckily, we’ve never had more resources at our fingertips than we do in this day and age to help us flourish. Here are some easy steps to guide you through.

Honor the grief process

International moves nowadays can be pulled off literally overnight. This has done wonders for convenience’s sake. Unfortunately, it has fast-tracked the grief process. Where a child used to have months to let an impending move marinate, they are no longer necessarily afforded that breathing space.

Communication is key in this transition. It will give your child a sense of inclusion and roots in their new reality. Communicate transparently about monumental situations like how long the move will be for. Apply the same principle to smaller situations like pointing to when on the clock you will come to pick them up from school. These little patterns can help ease separation anxiety. No matter how communicative you are with each other, sometimes your child’s emotions will come in the form of tears. Let them release their emotions in the way they come naturally, and over time, the tears will lessen.

Incorporate your old culture into your new home

For as many financial and logistical minefields as you may be going through as a parent, the expatriation experience is subjective. Navigating new smells, foods, schools, and friend groups is just as overwhelming for your child. Bring as much from your old culture as you can into your new environment to ease the shift. Cook food and watch films from your country of origin here in the Netherlands. If your child is having a rough time adjusting to school, encourage them to bring something from home with them to class. Perhaps a bracelet or a keychain can help them feel grounded.

You can also maintain small traditions that might be unique to your family. If your former house had lots of houseplants or you always made pancakes on Sundays, make an effort to preserve those traditions.

Utilize counseling

There are so many forms of counseling at our disposal these days. If you or your children had therapists in your home country, you could switch to online sessions to maintain the relationship during your move. If you prefer in-person counseling, there are plenty of options here in the Netherlands. Many of them cater specifically to expats and expat families.

There are other forms of non-psychological counseling that you and your family can benefit from too. Robbie Zien was an expat child herself before moving into counseling. Zien is an experienced educational and behavioral consultant. She provides a methodological approach to dealing with the problems faced by expat families. Zien offers guidance on how we can not only face our challenges but embrace them. Becoming the best version of yourself not only benefits you, but your children as well.

Read Also: The Healing Power of Questions: How AskZein Is Revolutionizing Support for Expat Families

Pass on positivity

Just as our physical traits can be passed down, so too can our behaviors and patterns. It’s important to remain positive in the face of these new changes for your little ones. Maintain an air of security amongst all the evolving circumstances. Be sure to have processed all your emotions before you bring your child into the conversation.

You can encourage positivity by implementing reward systems. Reinforce them verbally by telling them how proud you are of them for adapting so well. Explain that moving to a new place is not something to cry, pout, or play the victim about. This is your opportunity to teach them that life is a big, beautiful adventure!

Indulge in tech

Take advantage of the technological advancements that surround us today. Technology can help us stay rooted to our past lives and make sense of our present. Use FaceTime to stay in touch with family and your children’s old schoolmates. Depending on where you come from, you can book train or air travel immediately to plan weekends back home to visit loved ones IRL.

Language learning has also never been easier. There are plenty of platforms that have gamified language learning for both you and your kids. You can also use the internet to connect with other expats, find meetups, find immigration attorneys catering to your specific situation, realtors, and job opportunities. Just be sure to sift through the information with a discerning eye. There is so much advice out there, it is important to be selective.

Balance

A tip from Robbie Zien is to prioritize balance. Every day of the week should be devoted to a different theme. These themes can be extended throughout the month. For example, on Monday the family can devote itself to exercise and sports together. This creates healthy habits and promotes family bonding. Tuesday could be devoted to mental health. Hold space for check-ins over a meal together. Wednesday could be devoted to learning. This means homework for your children and language learning for the parents. Thursday could be spent in service to others. Acts of service from your children will give them gratitude for their current situation and instill life-long values.

Friday should be for romance. Though it may sound frivolous and the easiest theme to neglect, the importance of romance cannot be overstated. Happy, healthy couples breed happy, healthy families. Finally, the weekends can be devoted to joy, play, and, most importantly—rest.

There is a lot going on in your life and you have already accomplished so much by getting to this point. Use these tips and be proud of yourself that you have made this big, brave step out into the unknown! Rest assured that you’ve given your child a gift. Watching their parents go boldly into the world and conquer will give them the same sense of fearlessness as they forge their own paths one day.